Life’s Silver…lining

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Life always has ways of surprising us, from the littlest of things to the grandest. In this Age of Opulence, where one is always vying for the gold, I will always be more than happy with Silver.

This year marks 25 years that Fiona has been my Wife, earning her the win (apparently) of the Silver Jubilee, and not my life insurance since (also apparently) I am still here…writing this (or am I?).

Marking a quarter century is somewhat of a milestone, not so much in bragging rights, as it is in being proud knowing that we have spent that much more of our lives together than apart.

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Today is a day of our celebration of marriage, a crowning mark of the achievements that we’ve made together thus far, and those that we’ll be making in the years to come.

The color is Silver, which I am usually reminded by the Grey in my hair, by the one who likes reminding me most, especially after 25 years.

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I’m just happy to be party to the party.

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I’ve learnt over time that less is oft more. Garner and enjoy your time, and not things. There are always more things, but never enough time. Hopefully that way you may have fewer regrets should events cause us to lose time we wish we had spent, because time is only spent once (obviously I’m still not a believer in reincarnation).

My life lesson that has been learn-ed often enough during this 1/4 century with my Bride.

I’ve gained 25 years that may or may not have been, and am richer for it.

As a Husband, as a Father, as a “silver-haired” man.

Here’s to the next 25 years…

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The Glass is Always Full

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“Is the glass half empty or half full?” a common expression, a proverbial phrase, generally used rhetorically to indicate that a particular situation could be a cause for optimism (half full) or pessimism (half empty), or as a general litmus test to simply determine an individual’s worldview.

2017 seems to have begun with 1 of these 2 views, and based on media (both real and social), obviously more of one than the other.

What we tend to forget that Life, is much like the Tao:

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Yin and Yang, are two opposite and complimentary energies that make up a whole; that one is not ever fulfilled without the other. Yin and Yang cannot exist without the other, they are never separate.

Whether we perceive them as freezing and boiling, dark and bright, good and evil, they are but parts that become a sum.

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Exactly how we view a glass in a”simpler” fashion/expression/time.

A Worldview in the making.

The Mind, like an opinion, is a terrible thing to waste, and recent tidings have encouraged me to be much less reliant on the media machine, for what is fed to us through and media “feeds” preys upon our sensitivities and sensibilities to foster what I deem a lot of air in the glass. Substance without weight that doesn’t really feed or nurture us.

Not to say that all is such, that would bring us back to the Yin and Yang, bits of each in all.

Strong wills create strong views and stronger opinions, but a tempered view can cut a swath through the falsehoods, biases, and untruths. Unless (a) we don’t want to, or (b) we trust too much.

This is where faith and intelligence play into the picture, and we once again return to our yin and yang situation.

Thank you 2017.

We are supposed to be entering the year with an air of rebirth and refreshed ideals. Not of dread, not of ill-will, not of contempt, and certainly not of prejudice.

I am Canadian, and regardless of what I would let all Media believe, I live a Good life.

I am happy to drink from a glass that is half-full, I am even more glad with that the love and respect of my family and friends that my cup doth runneth over.

I will also never let one’s glass ever be empty, it is always filled and refilled at my table, regardless of choice of drink. I judge not.

Judging is one thing, and Respect-ing is however another, and when that Yin Yang becoomes Love/Hate, Respect/Disrespect, I am determined to replace the negative with positive, and the perception of “entitlement” with Gratitude.This year has been painted with more of the former of this (than the latter) til now, and is already due for a fresher coat, or some better primer.

I urge anyone reading this to Believe in Good, have Faith in the Just, but moreso, have faith in you and yours 1st. Think before reacting, and respect the views and opinions that others exude, and file them appropriately.

What separataes from the animals, is that we don’t have to react to instinct, we have the ability to ponder our decisions becfore reacting.

Let 2017 be the year of Action, and not a year of re-Action.

I wish you all the best. Fill your cup, drink until satiated.

Your cup will Always be Full.

One Love.

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Friends In Deed. Thank You.

 

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Thank you.

For 3 years: friends, family, musicians and well-wishers have gathered to commemorate and honor the memory of Orson Clarke.

Gone too soon, our eye-glinting ever-smiling and jovial friend, left us to contribute to the thunder that we occasionally hear rolling overhead, reminding us of musicians on high, and of that rolling baritone of his that has us always look up yonder with that same eye sparkle we miss of his.

We have payed homage to Orson’s life, with a musical gathering, for 3 years now, and I am proud to have been able to count on those that came, participated, and enjoyed.

It is an evening that this year I dedicated to the sentiment of “One Love”, that is forever mantra-ed by friends, and fit the evening’s intent fully

Leslie “Snooksta” Alston, along with Ben Comeau, Daniel “DJ” Joseph, and Naveen Uttamchandani, were the musical hosts, and also great friends of Orson’s, that have continued the tradition of lyrical honor, and supplied the Heart, Funk, and Soul to the beauty of the evening that brought and brings us all together.

To Snooki, Ben, DJ & Nav, I say Thank You.

Special guest, orator, and singer, Carolyn Fe, gave an eloquent presentation and reading of “One Love”, a piece written for the evening, and brought to light with her unrehearsed and enraptured delivery. Having words put to voice, in that special way, is a gift. Thank you for giving the words I put to paper life, and expressing them with the intentions of which I had put pen to paper.

To Carolyn, I say Thank You.

Victor Cowen’s annual Opening introduction started our evening, as Orson’s daughter Jazz’s closing comments graced the evening’s honors. Everything that transpired between these two, were true and just, and deserving of the man they were meant for.

I thank you both for speaking in earnest, and in respect.

Music drove the night, initiated by the dedication, and the care, the “One Love” that all present shared for Orson Clarke. Many took to the stage, and many more were just as content to sit, watch, and listen (myself included).

Singers, guitarists, bassists, drummers. A plethora of people that love to play, are what made us remember what Orson loved doing.

Photos were taken, video was made…but more importantly the “magic” that has surrounded these memory making honors to our friend; in the gifts of your presence, and the presence of the gifts of your time and  spirit, makes having these get-togethers all the more spiritually enriching.

It was about the Music.

It was about the Kinship.

It was about the Camaraderie.

It was about the Stories.

It was about having a Good Time.

It is about One Love.

Officially, I raise my hands, and I clap them to you, for making this annual event, in My and My Family’s eyes, a great success.

I, and We, Thank You.

See you next year…

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Time Canon

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Writer’s block always strikes at some point.

The Creative process is sometimes a fickle thing, and we can either experience it as the flow of the stream, the roar of the river…or as the ebb of the tide.

Lately, due to circumstance(s), creativity has been much at a standstill. Living life has been more the priority, or more in fact, ensuring that I’m able to live the life that I/We want.

Health issues have never been “issues” to me through out the time I’ve spent living thus far, but apparently life does have a way, like most things, of catching up with you.

More genetics than lifestyle, my new found eye openers, have given cause for a lot of reflection (having had a lot of “empty time” waiting in hospitals and for doctors), and I’ve decided that the legacy I choose to leave, if any, will more so be the memories that I can leave with loved ones, than not have to have made those memories.

That’s to say, easily now, that time wasted is time lost.

Money we can earn and spend. It provides us a means and an end to:

Objects,

Things,

Stuff.

Time is the Gift, that once spent, is lost.

Irreplaceable.

So, here I find myself, happy to make some hard decisions that will grant me guiltless freedom (not that I ever really felt that guilty over decisions) that will constantly remind me to put any wasted time to be WELL wasted time, that I decide to spend of my own volition, and not out of any sense of “have-to” and “need-to” as prescribed to make that better $$$ life.

Decisions and detractors have pillaged enough of the time that is now behind me, and lost to me, but that ever-fresh smell of coffee serves to lighten and direct the id to the place it needs to go.

The Spirit is better, the head is better; the heart is getting there, as are the eyes.

Life can be fickle.

Health can be fickle.

We fight for what we want.

To Be,

To achieve,

To give,

To Love,

To be Remembered.

As much as I hope to stay here as long as possible, Time is a finite essence and I want to spend it with you in the best way possible.

In terms that I control.

On terms that I can navigate.

With those I want.

I hope to all that I give a little piece of time, at some point appreciate that anything that  was spent and invested with you, was at an intrinsic cost.

I like to think I am choosing wisely.

A Father’s Day

 

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Urban Dictionary defines “Dad” as:

The guy who’s on your ass 24/7 about grades, sports, what you do with your free time, drugs, alcohol, your behavior….etc and will never give you a break, or room to breath, he can also be pretty chill when he has vented all his rage on the rest of your family, he likes classic rock, talking about politics, he is never wrong and will argue until his face turns red to prove his point no matter how ridiculous it may be, he is either the best or the worst when he drinks, he is extremely controlling with what you do and how you manage your time, he does love you (well i mean he is your father right?) and after owning you he usually says its because he loves you (which is usually bullshit) overall you still love your dad even tho he may be a total asshole, and when u move away you will love him even more.

 

I’d like to think of my Dad as the Best of those things, and that I’ve continued the Tradition set out before me. Even the more flagrant negative aspects are truth in this latter definition, but that’s what makes us “responsible” parents.

I am forever grateful that my Sons have walked their own steps, and have not emulated or perpetrated anything remotely close to the follies of my youth (or so I would think and/or hope), and quite probably, my Dad thinks the same.

“Always” being the cool Dad, would be great; but the likelihood is as much or equal to the chance of winning the lottery, getting hit by lightning, or being bitten by a shark…great odds, eh? 

That’s the “what” that proves that Tradition, trumps being Cool.

Learning and maintaining values instilled in us by those we hold dear, and then passing those values on to our children, is what constitutes parenthood. Teaching them in the way that you can is by choice, as much as the absorption of the education is by the kids we’re trying to bring up in this “new and improved” world. That to me is being a Dad.

That’s Life, and Life is a Lesson.

If I can instill a few modicums of memories, experiences, and learned values in my Sons as a Dad, I’d like to give these:

  • Respect, is a Commandment that is universal, regardless of Faith. I hope my Sons will always respect me in the way that I respect my Dad, and in the way that my Father respected His.
  • Responsibility. I would like my sons to be like me, but that’s their choice, and they are completely free to make the choices of their own (albeit with some guidance here and there). They have to abide and follow through on their choices, accepting the responsibility that supports their decisions. Their path, their destiny.
  • Honor. I said honor, not pride. Hold true to your beliefs, your heritage and your name. They do mean something, and as a Dad gets older, you do realize that they do mean more than they had when you were younger.
  • Choices. Always make your decisions wisely, and not rashly. Checks and balances, pros and cons, weigh them as rationally as possible, and treat them all with importance, even as trivial as some may seem. 

These are but 4 to cite, and as a Dad, I hold each as important as the other.

I pass these on not merely as words, but as ideals.

Please hold onto them and consider them.

Those are my Father’s Day gift, on my kind of Father’s Day, being able to share with my Sons. The Act of Giving has always been more in my Nature, than the want of receiving, having learnt earlier in life, that every day, is a gift: I choose to pass that gift on, one way or another.

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